We seniors have now had more than two months - after more than three years of waiting - to take in Boston University cable television. And it hasn't disappointed. Speak Russian, Chinese or Arabic? BU has you covered. Addicted to music videos? Got that on lock. But most importantly, are you a sports fan? Well, you may not graduate with a great GPA, but you'll never be without a game to watch. With eight channels dedicated solely to sports and no end-of-week classes (Thank you, COM) I give you: my last Friday.
9 a.m. - Wake up, grab a glass of water and some aspirin. Turn on SportsCenter on ESPN and try not to feel too hungover while waiting for the Top 10 Plays.
9:30 a.m. - Tired of seeing the same DirectTV commercials over and over again, I flip through the other seven sports channels. Most are also on commercial except Fox Sports Net and NESN. They're both showing infomercials; which, really, is the just the king of all commercials.
9:33 a.m. - Pry myself away from the hypnotic allure of Chuck Norris trying to sell me some sort of workout machine. Flip back to SportsCenter, where Stuart Scott has just made a lame rap reference.
9:45 a.m. - Stomach rumbles. Venture to the fridge to grab some leftover pizza. Inspired by breakfast, turn to ESPN2 to watch Cold Pizza.
9:45:30 a.m. - Immediately regret my decision. Worst. Show. Ever. Wish Woody Paige would spontaneously combust.
9:46 a.m. - Find Major League III: Back to the Minors. Forgo experiment for sheer mindless entertainment.
10:30 a.m. - Feel 3 percent stupider than when I started watching the movie. Decide it's time to actually leave the apartment. Head down to Walter Brown to practice my Martin St. Louis impression.
12:20 p.m. - Stop by GSU for lunch. On the menu: Cranberry Farms turkey BLT and ESPN2. The GSU workers who are watching on their breaks seem to be unnaturally enthralled by women's trick shot billiards. At least the TV is set to a sports channel instead of TBS's Judging Amy repeats like most days.
12:45 p.m. - Return to my apartment for an afternoon nap. Realize how rough college really is.
2 p.m. - Wake up. Sad to discover NHL lockout was not just a nightmare. Pretty sure facing off against Wayne Gretzky was a dream. Need to stop leaving ESPN Classic on while I sleep.
Flip through sports channels to discover that NESN is running the exact same programming as ESPNNews, including commercials. I'm momentarily amused by quickly flipping between the two, secretly waiting for them to get out of sync.
2:00:30 p.m. - Quickly become bored. Settle for Coast2Coach on CSTV.
2:15 p.m. - Learning all about Penn State athletics. Highly enjoy Extra Points spots played almost every commercial break.
3 p.m. - Turn to NFL Network to get the scoop on off-season news.
4 p.m. - Realize how many ex-NFL players are now commentators. Try to imagine Tom Brady in 20 years, sitting behind a desk and analyzing plays. Bet he will still be incredibly good-looking, even for an old guy. Feel bad about myself and decide to exercise more.
4:10 p.m. - After one lap around the block, I remember why I watch sports instead of play them. Resolve to be happy with my diet of beer and pizza.
5 p.m. - Flip between Around the Horn andI, Max, wishing they would be the same show again. Convinced I could push buttons and belittle people as well as Max Kellerman. Decide Tony Reali should have stuck to being Stat Boy.
5:30 p.m. - Favorite show of the day. Pardon the Interruption on ESPN. Wonder when Tony Kornheiser will actually get overexcited and burst a vein. Also wonder when Michael Wilbon is going to grab one of the stage props and beat Tony with it.
5:55 p.m. - Stat Boy points out errors in show. Tony and Michael get all defensive.
6 p.m. - Tune in to Boston College vs. Maine Hockey East Semifinal. Someone replaced the BC goalie with a seven-year-old child. Wait, no. That's just Cory Schneider.
6:50 p.m. - Leave to watch more sports, but in person this time. Off to the FleetCenter to watch BU take on the University of New Hampshire in the second Hockey East Semifinal game.
12:30 p.m. - Return home, wishing I had stayed and watched more TV. Catch part of the Cornell vs. Vermont game in instant rerun on CSTV. Can't decide if I like that they cut out the 15-minute intermissions between periods when airing a game that has already happened.
1 a.m. - Flip to The Sports List on Fox Sports Net. Fall asleep after one of Summer Sanders' oh-so-witty puns.
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