RAMONES: Taking the fear out of living

I watched figures shovel burning coals from the crackling fire onto the lanes of grass. I felt the tribal drumming pound through my numbed feet. The concrete was so cold; I wanted to walk on fire, just to stop the aching cold. I finally approached the lane of coals as I chanted "Cool Moss, Cool Moss, Cool Moss." I kept walking over the hot coals looking forward, without feeling any twinge of pain.

Two years ago, at an Anthony Robbins event, thousands of people walked on hot coals to demonstrate the power of fear. You might remember Tony Robbins from the movie "Shallow Hal" as the tall guy that hypnotized Hal to see only the inner beauty in people. He really exists, he's really that tall and even though he doesn't hypnotize everyone he meets in an elevator, he teaches millions of people how to master their emotions.

Before you tell me to wipe the Kool-Aid off my chin, there's a lot we can learn from him. Between the economy, elections, weather and exams, we have more than enough to be afraid of. You'll agree then that turning fear into power is a useful skill.

Robbins explains that "fear equals false evidence appearing real." Fear is all the things we make up in our head that could happen. We worry about McCain getting elected or Obama getting shot. We worry about trying to pay off our student loans while living out of a box. We worry about failing that math quiz. We worry about our girl/boyfriend dumping us. Just like I had worried the coals were going to burn.

But it's all BS. The coals didn't burn my feet, just like you thought that all that stuff could happen but it may not and even if it did, it may not be the end of the world.

Instead of facing the fear, we try to forget about it. A better way of handling fear is to change the meaning. Instead of thinking the hot coals will burn, we focus on reaching the end and we notice that everything is okay. By focusing more on what we don't want we're letting go of what we do want. Sometimes we focus so much on what we don't want, that's exactly what we get. You focus on not getting sick; you come down with the flu. You focus on not having money; your wallet gets stolen. You're afraid of getting burned and you get burned - badly.

Think about an event that you used to feel a bit of "anxiety" about, now imagine 14 minutes after that event went well and you'll notice that all the anxiety or fear you used to feel is just gone.

Change your focus; change the emotion. Change your expectation; change the event. If you change the meaning you give to an event, you can change your destiny. Decide to focus on what you can do versus what is being done to you and you'll notice the world becoming a little less scary and little more exciting.


Stephanie Ramones, a sophomore in the College of Arts and Sciences, is a weekly columnist for The Daily Free Press. Weil can be reached at sramones@bu.edu.