 "Photo: Kimberly Kolba / DFP STAFF")
 "Photo: Kimberly Kolba / DFP STAFF")
For most people, Valentine’s Day means open expressions of love and like.
But for Paul Mercurio, a junior in the College of Arts and Sciences and Pat Hutchinson, a senior at Stonehill College, today means more than roses and chocolate.
Hutchinson remembers that for years he thought about Valentine’s Day and watched his brother go out on dates for the romantic holiday. So this year he is especially pleased to be “out of the closet” and with someone he cares about.
“It is much better [being out of the closet],” he says. “At least now I can say I’m out. Before I would have been cautious and wouldn’t have wanted anyone to see me. Now I feel like I’m out there and with someone I like.”
Mercurio agrees. He says before he was openly gay, he celebrated Valentine’s Day with friends.
“When I was closeted I showed my friends how much I cared about them,” he said. “I tried to make it about love for mankind instead of one special person.”
Even the small things, such as buying a romantic card for a partner, can be extra difficult for Mercurio and Hutchinson. Valentine’s Day cards with pictures of men and women kissing, hugging and celebrating line store racks. Seldom can one find a card depicting a gay or lesbian relationship.
However, Hutchinson used a little creativity to get around this setback.
“He got me a card with two polar bears snuggling,” Mercurio says. “Who can tell if a polar bear is a guy or a girl?”
While Mercurio jokes about androgynous polar bears, he admits that he has adapted to a straight-slanted Valentine’s Day.
“Everything in life does [have a heterosexual slant],” he says. “I just adapt like I have to adapt to everything. Even listening to songs on the radio, I have to substitute pronouns in here and there.”
Hutchinson added that many of the electronic cards found online have cards relating to gay and lesbian relationships.
They both have been openly gay since high school, but this year is the first year that they have had someone special to share the holiday with.
“I think it’s a little more important to us,” Mercurio says. “Because we can express our love, where as in the past [homosexual people] really couldn’t do that.”
Hutchinson, who attends a small Catholic college in Eastern Massachusetts, says spending a romantic evening on his campus with a boyfriend isn’t exactly a relaxing idea.
“I can’t imagine trying to go out and do something romantic with my boyfriend [on campus],” he says. “I suppose in the areas outside of campus I would care less and less.”
Hutchinson says that while at school he does not deny his sexual preference, he does not show it off either.
“It’s not a welcoming atmosphere,” Hutchinson says. “I don’t deny it, but I don’t go out and wear buttons either.”
Both men added that they don’t seem to have a traditional place on the holiday scene.
“At Christmas, you see couples sitting around a tree; at Thanksgiving, you see couples sitting around the dinner table. I guess I just think about it more [on Valentine’s Day],” Hutchinson says.
Hutchinson blames the holiday market’s neglect of gays on stereotypes.
“People think [gay and lesbian couples] can’t stay together,” Hutchinson says. “They think they like to have sex and that they aren’t capable of a long term relationship.”
Yet Hutchinson says these stereotypes are unfounded adding that one of his friends has been in a committed relationship for a year and a half.
Mercurio says when he came out of the closet his parents were upset because they were only exposed to such stereotypes. He says they feared he would become a lonely and bitter old man.
Looking at Hutchinson, Mercurio added he hopes he will prove them wrong.
While Hutchinson and Mercurio are very aware of these misconceptions, neither of them allow it to negatively affect their lives too much.
“If you’re going to enjoy the holiday, enjoy it with who you are with and you can’t really worry about it,” Hutchinson says.
The men have already exchanged gifts and plan to celebrate their Valentine’s Day a little late this weekend with a “mushy” movie and a bottle of wine.
Mercurio, an earth science major, gave Hutchinson a personalized gift of a crystallized rock with a colorful iridescent shimmer.
“Rocks are beautiful,” Mercurio says. “And they last longer than flowers.”
Hutchinson is touched by the gift and understands its meaning right away. Even before they met, Hutchinson knew Mercurio’s interests lay in rocks and the environment. He knew because he read Mercurio’s personal ad on Planetout.com.
The page-long description of Mercurio’s likes and dislikes is what brought the two together. Hutchinson saw the ad on the Internet and felt a connection.
“I felt like he was what I was looking for,” Hutchinson says.
The two spoke on the phone for about two weeks before deciding to meet at a café on Newbury Street.
“I got there early,” recalls Hutchinson. “I kept looking around and I passed him about three times. Then when I was going to leave he stopped me.”
“I kept looking at all the guys and saying ‘don’t let that one be Pat,’” Mercurio says. “And then one guy, I was like, ‘please let that one be Pat,’ and it was.”
And now, after almost two weeks, the two are looking forward to their much-anticipated Valentine’s Day celebration.
Hutchinson added, “I think this is the best one yet.”
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