SHANFIELD: The mindless spending BU tuition increases fund

What is Boston University doing to save money for us?

Every year we get a letter from BU that makes my parents upset. I don't actually know what it says because it's full of euphemisms and big words that President Brown made up. But essentially, it tells us that our tuition went up another grand. Freshman year, I respected the raise. But last year, when our annual tuition went from the price of an Escalade to the price of a Bentley, I got mad -- mostly because I'd rather get an annual Bentley than deflated grades, but also because BU is ripping me off.

Sure, I know I'm getting a good education, but spending this kind of money on knowledge should make me into an all-knowing robot. BU should be giving me superpowers for what it's charging me. Though I do get a lot of things from BU, half the time I really don't know where my money is going.

BU brings in hundreds of millions from tuition alone, yet wastes its money on the stupidest things. BU owns nearly half of the Back Bay, so reasonably all the money flowing in from the drunken and ever-spending Red Sox fans is bound to bring in a few more bucks, but BU does not seem to know how to distribute the wealth in a manner that doesn't resemble the behavior of Macaulay Culkin in Richie Rich.

One of the worst examples of this is student employment. Every student working on campus gets paid thousands per year to do things that don't really need to be done. The people at the gym don't do squat; the people at Aesop's Bagels are paid to scowl at you. Also, please explain to me why there are five people "checking my bag" at the library. And how much did those maroon blazers cost?

I don't do a single thing at my student job. No copying, no typing up memos, just absolute silence and stillness. Your tuition is going to me to perform the task of staring at a wall and not moving.

OK, I do move sometimes -- but only on Fridays, when we have "Friday snacks": a nacho bar, mini sandwiches, fruit and veggie plate, cookie assortment and soda that cost the engineering department about $400 every week. Not to mention birthdays, which are a big deal here in Photonics; we spare no expense on the cakes. I know people who have lied and said it was their birthday just to get a cake. That might have been me, but still, that money could have gone toward cleaning the Warren Towers waffle maker.

The things we don't pay for here are the things that baffle me. I could care less that there is a Sega Genesis in BU Central for my free use, and I am pissed that my tuition is paying for the Class of 2008 to have complementary mugs when it graduates. We also don't have to pay to use that futuristic gym, which is unfair. The same 50 people use the gym. Everyone else is naturally beautiful. Those who aren't should have to pay.

I have a feeling that BU's frivolous spending habits go way back. Who thought it would be a good idea to spend a few million to have lockers put in CAS? Better yet, who thought it would be a good idea to have a College of General Studies? Are they serious? That name itself sounds like a poor decision. I assume BU just has too much money to deal with, because a school that is concerned with saving money wouldn't have time to think of the perfect place to house brainless, beautiful, fashionable Californians and consider it a good use of its billions. That's probably why NYU has a CGS, too.

Aside from all the stupid crap BU is spending our money on, what about saving it? What is it doing? I thought all the money was going to Dean Elmore's secret mansion in Brookline, but I know he can't be filthy rich because we go to the same Dunkin' Donuts. Every time I see him, I ask him what he's done to save my hardworking dad money today. The only answer he's given me is that BU is changing all the light bulbs to energy-efficient ones to help conserve costs. And? No, that's actually it. I thought there was more too, but he just got his Munchkins and peaced.

So, here is my theory: Either BU spends its money on so many stupid things and so many student employees every year that the annual raise in tuition is simply to help pay off its debt, or BU is perfectly able to give us a new sidewalk, a new StuVi and an "upgraded" faculty without charging us so much extra each year but uses the extra money to conduct secret affairs. So, somewhere, there is a buffet of Friday snacks that we don't know about -- or a buffet of Friday yachts.

Sarah Shanfield, a junior in the College of Communication, is a weekly columnist for The Daily Free Press. She can be reached at shansa@bu.edu.