BERKOWITZ: Adan Berkowitz gives one final rant

If anybody has been reading my column every week, (and hopefully there are at least a couple of you) you'll notice that the tone of my writing changes pretty drastically week to week. I'll write about the war in Iraq, and then the next week I'm doing some ridiculous piece on Trix cereal. A lot of it is basically just a cross section of what's on my mind, but I think there's a deeper meaning hidden somewhere in there. I got more emails about my article praising Back to the Future than I did about any other column. That probably says something about the state of affairs in our country, but I'm not sure I'm qualified to say exactly what that is.

But I've enjoyed writing this column, and I hope some of you enjoyed reading it. My editors, gracious souls that they are, gave me free reign to talk about whatever I want, which can be both a blessing and a curse. As strange as it seems, sometimes it's hard to find something to talk about, and even harder to formulate a coherent opinion on something while trying to convince other people that my opinion is the right one. I've always thought opinion columns were kind of flawed for this reason. I mean, is anyone out there really going to read one and have it totally alter their worldview? I guess it must happen sometimes, although it'd probably have to be a pretty good column to accomplish that. For the most part, it's really hard to get people who are stuck in their ways to change their minds.

With that said, I'm going to start ranting, and if you don't agree with everything I say, you can go play in traffic.

The T is indeed a horribly mismanaged dinosaur-like waste of time, and everything about it is terrible. However, everybody knows this, and I don't want to hear about it anymore. After they started charging for outbound service on the green line, you'd think somebody shot the president -- it was all anyone talked about for weeks and weeks. The bus is faster and cheaper. Take the bus and shut up.

To every magazine that hasn't returned my calls about an internship: I hope your printing press catches fire.

Everyone's saying the Massachusetts Institute of Technology admissions lady who got canned for fabricating her résumé was a good employee and that she genuinely cared about her job. Guess what? I'm still glad she got fired. Sour grapes, baby. Hope you like your new job as the night-shift manager at Arby's. I hear they're a lot more lenient when it comes to educational experience.

Did we really need an after-school special every other week about how terrible rape is? Do we really think a girl is going to get the courage she needs to come forward from an article she read in The Daily Free Press? (No offense, FreeP.) Wow, you're anti-rape. What a bold stance. I bet you're anti-Neo Nazi and against strangling puppies also. Some guys are lecherous pigs, but I think it's pretty insulting to women to paint all of them as easily manipulated doe-eyed lambs. If you get taken advantage of, report it, but don't do it because some article told you to.

Not using Facebook.com doesn't make you hip or more enlightened than anybody else. You're just as obnoxious as the people who spend hours uploading thousands of photos of themselves that nobody is going to look at. And I don't care that you lost your cell phone or that if a 100,000 people join your group you'll run naked down Commonwealth Avenue.

All drugs should be legalized and anyone who doesn't think so is an idiot and knows nothing about the drug war or U.S. history. That being said, people who think doing drugs makes them cool or interesting in any way are probably the people I don't want to talk to.

Anyone who buys a gun for any reason is probably compensating for something.

The Shield is hands down the best show on television, and everything else is pretty much unwatchable. The Sopranos is still a close runner up, but people better start getting shot soon or else it's not going to end on a good note.

There's an awful lot of bureaucracy and red tape at Boston University, and the tuition is pretty expensive. I don't know if anyone's ever mentioned this in the past.

I think all the colleges at BU should have some sort of quiz-bowl-type competition to determine the overall "smartest" college, and students in the winning school should get a pizza party or something. We'll give the CGS kids kindergarten-level questions to make it fair.

Every time I click on CNN.com and see "150 Iraqis killed in explosion" or something, part of me gets really angry and resentful at Iraqis for just staying in their country. I know it's completely irrational, but I can't help it.

I wonder if President Bush ever thinks to himself, "Wow, I'm really a pretty bad person," and then can't sleep for a couple of nights thinking about it, but then he catches a glimpse of himself in the mirror wearing his cowboy hat and grins and forgets all about it.

If I could have voted on the new relaxed Guest Policy, I would have voted against it, because I live off-campus and I just like to be a jerk.

There's nothing in the world I care less about than the BU Student Union election, and that includes Anna Nicole Smith.

It should be legal to punch somebody when you're walking along the sidewalk and they're coming toward you and they do that thing where both of you try to go a different way, but you end up going the same way and you do it two or three more times before you end up actually passing them.

Despite BU's many faults, it has Dr. Pepper in the dining hall and for that it is absolved of all wrongdoing.

Thanks for reading my column. Send all death threats to my email address, and have a great summer.

Adan Berkowitz, a junior in the College of Arts and Sciences, has been a weekly columnist for The Daily Free Press. He can be reached at adanspy1@bu.edu.